What If St. Joseph Had the Internet?

moon rises over the pyramids in Egypt

We were lucky St. Joseph wasn’t a modern guy with the Internet when God sent him his famous warning dream.

Not every technological advance is an actual advance.

Small Town, Some Country In the Middle East In An Alternate History, Spring 2023

Joe wakes up to the alarm on his phone. He uses an alarm clock because he’s got a job in construction. He’s got to be at the job site on time.

Wood beams and boards in a home under construction
The job site

It was a powerful dream he had, one in which an angel seemed to vividly appear.

“Rise and take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you. Herod is going to search for the child to destroy him,” the angel had said.

It was a stern warning, but Joe had been dreaming. It’s probably my imagination, he thinks. Crazy stuff like angels appearing to carpenters never happens, right?

Joe laughs.

Why would the Divine bother with someone like me? I’m a nobody!

He makes himself a cup of coffee to wake up. No sugar for him. He takes his coffee black, letting it cool after a quick sip as he washes up.

Getting dressed in the bedroom, he gazes at Mary who’s still sleeping after being up for the night of being up with the baby.

Mary has a job stuffing envelopes that she’ll start later in the day. The direct-mail company she works for provided them with an envelope-stuffing machine that seems to take up half of their front room. It does get in the way, but they need the money. The machine has a smooth clatchy-clatch rhythm when it’s working right that the baby has no difficulty sleeping through.

I might be a nobody, but I still have got her. That’s enough, Joe thinks.

Man, though, that was an intense dream! I’ve got to find out what it means.

Joe goes on the Internet

Joe takes out his phone and types, What does a dream about Egypt mean?

Most people go to the first site that comes up in the query. Joe is no exception. He goes to a website that has a number of these dream interpretations.

Two people on camels cross a pyramid burial complex.
What kind of visions did Joseph see in his dream? We don’t know exactly, but we do know it was a dream about Egypt.

A dream featuring Egypt is believed to represent the potential for change in your life. If you dream about Egypt, your subconscious may be hinting you are not living the sort of life that you were meant to lead… Maybe you need a new career or a new spouse. Maybe you just need to make a smaller change: take up a new hobby or interest or get a pet if you don’t already have one.

Joe thinks about what he’s read.


I need to make a change, Joe thinks. Maybe instead of carpentry, maybe I learn a new trade.

Then there’s the line about getting a new spouse! I mean, Mary seemed like a good, holy woman, and she shows up pregnant. I had my misgivings about that, and had that other dream that told me to marry her anyway.

People have these relationships, you see. Get someone else.

However, over time, he’s grown fond of Mary, I’m not going to divorce her.

Of course, maybe the answer per the website is to get a dog.

Generally, the counsel from the top of the search query seems to indicate that this dream is calling for a change to be made. Maybe it is the dog.

Disturbing dreams featuring plagues, droughts, slavery, mummies, or other troublesome imagery can indicate issues and feelings that have been buried in the subconscious mind, and ought to be addressed—advice pertaining to a dream about Egypt

A white family dog with four members of his family.
Joe reads that the dream interpretation for a dream about Egypt says that a change needs to be made. Maybe a pet is that change?

It seemed like a pretty big deal when the astronomers/astrologers from other countries came to see us after Jesus was born. Maybe that’s all just a coincidence. If I get a dog, on the other hand, he’ll protect the family when I’m at work. It’ll be good for the baby, too, because as he grows, he’ll be used to dogs. The dog will teach him not to be scared. They fetch and so forth. It’ll give him something to do besides play video games.

Roscoe, the dog

Joe brings home a bouncy bundle of joy—a puppy!

Joe and Mary settle on naming him Roscoe.

They’re happy living life in their small town in the Middle East: Joe, Mary, the baby, and Roscoe.

Then one day…

Happiness lasts until one day when some soldiers and police come to their small house under orders from President-for-life Herod (the supreme dictator in the country where they live). They take the baby away and kill him along with several other male babies in their small town. Mankind loses its savior, the one who changed history.

This isn’t a serious story. It’s just a little “what-if” tale. A serious question is, how many real-world results have been marred by dream misinterpretation? Is it one of the reasons that the world is so messed up these days?

We might be very lucky Joseph didn’t have the Internet!

We might have lost our savior.

Happy Easter!

For further reading:

St. Joseph’s dreams in the Bible show the importance of remembering yours

Nativity scene larceny

How to make the most of your healing dream

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