What Does It Mean When You Dream Of An Ex-Boyfriend or Ex-Girlfriend?

a man hold a phone up accusingly while a woman cries.

Some people would want to resist learning what a dream about their ex might mean. They’d be afraid it would mean they subconsciously wanted to get back together with them. 

If that’s the case, there’s no way. I’ve been through all that before, and I’m not looking back.  

If that’s the only partner available, forget it. I’d rather be alone.  

Dreaming of an ex doesn’t necessarily mean you want to get back with them

Relax! Your ex is a person like anyone else. When you have a dream of anyone, pause and reflect on what they mean to you. By reflecting, you begin to understand their role in your life. The same holds true for a dream about your ex. It could be that your subconscious is evoking one of their characteristics—good or bad—to make a point.

Take a minute to step back and really consider what you think about them. What did you learn from your interactions with them? 

You’ve had an experience—claim the power.

In life, we meet all kinds of people

Sometimes the lessons we learn from others are good lessons, others bad. 

Some people are positive examples. They’re people you want to be like. 

Others are negative examples. They’re people you never want to be like. 

A lot of others are neutral. There might be a thing or two you’d like to emulate in their character, but as for the rest, forget it. 

To do the best dreamwork possible with this dream, do your best to see them dispassionately. As an exercise to help you with this, try to see them with the loving eyes of their Creator.  

That can be awfully hard sometimes, especially when the emotional (and sometimes physical) wounds are fresh. 

In these kinds of relationships, we get wronged, and, in turn, we sometimes wrong others. 

A range of meanings 

A dream about an ex can mean a lot of things. Sometimes your body is simply having a sexual urge. If you were back with your ex, maybe that impulse would be getting satisfied. 

Other times there’s something more profound going on. Perhaps your subconscious is urging you to put the lessons from the relationship at the forefront of your mind so you can learn what you need to learn and then move on. 

A few other questions about your dream…

To help you understand the dream with your ex better, here’s a few questions to ask about it. 

In the dream, did your ex-act like themselves? Was there anything different about their appearance? If there were any changes from the way that they present themselves in real life, what do you think that says about the takeaway message from the dream? 

Were they alone with you, by themselves, or with others? How would you describe the relationship between the people in your dream? 

Where did the dream take place? Were you where you used to be when you had the relationship? Or were you somewhere else? 

What was said in the dream? 

Try to remember all the details you can, write, and reflect.

For further reading:

What’s the spiritual meaning of a dream about vampires?

Try this dream-based hack to crush your worries.

5 keys to understanding your sex dream

Dreams of Ex-Husband Had a Pattern: “Barb Sanders”

A Pattern With Men Repeats Itself: “Barb Sanders”


James Cobb, RN, MSN, is an emergency department nurse and the founder of the Dream Recovery System. He aims to provide his readers with simple, actionable ways to improve their health and maximize their quality of life. 

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